I wish you could be in my head for a little bit so you could realize how amazing of a person you are

One of the greatest satisfactions is finding a person you can completely open yourself up to, who won't judge you, who will hold your hand through it all and will always leave you feeling loved. My parents have always provided me with that support and yes, that's what friends are for. But how often do you meet someone and within a matter of minutes, you have developed an understanding stronger than any friendship that's grown over a life time? It's now been a year and half since we met and this person has moved quickly to family status.

My mind was filled with regret and lost hope. My body ached. But this special friend said, "I want you not to feel so sad anymore. I wish you could be in my head for a little bit so you could realize how amazing of a person you are ." Some people always know the right things to say that will make you feel good. I know from the bottom of my heart this was the truth.

Camping Uncensored

7 PM- We sat around the campfire and wrote a story. Everyone contributed one line. Here is the final piece:

It was a close race for the loser of the day award but Jessica began pulling ahead quickly in the morning. And it tickled my feet. So Matt ran away. Can I just say Berto tried to save the day with a condom. It's cool if your name is Mandora because then your nickname could be Dora. And Amish sent out 2000 emails about the camping trip. I realized when I looked north and saw the big rock and the cliff, I wouldn't be able to reach it without jumping into the water. After the projectile vomit came out my mouth, I wanted to jump into the ocean and die. I knew he'd been dead for a few days because rigor mortis had set in. As I sat warming myself by the crackling fire, I realized I could really use a box of a kittens. I found later that he was a predatory lender. I needed a condom but luckily Berto brought four so I saved my air mattress.

Memories from the trip:
Jessica puking exorcist style on the boat.
Matt puking in his mouth on the boat. Why couldn't I keep it in my mouth?
14+99999 miles hiking
Deer with awesome antlers jumping out in front of Emily and scaring everyone during hike
Christopher Bunk and Jess's discovery of a deer carcass while exploring
Berto's numerous condom discussions (apparently more ways to use than we ever thought to believe)
Bruno's surprise visit to the campsite
Meili's fear of Bruno the robot
Falling into the fire
The Random Girls of Catalina Island
Waking up to the sound of waves crashing
Getting through all "99 bottles of beer on the wall" during hike
Nick, me, Leila and Brian running as fast as possible to the end of the trail in search of bacon cheeseburgers
Meili's exciting return to civilization an hour later than everyone else

Catalina Camping Trip 2008

There are 16 of us going camping this weekend. We are only going for one night yet we will be so prepared, we could permanently relocate if we wanted to. I mean who wouldn't want to give up the comfort of their own bed, privacy, running water, a toilet that flushes, fresh food, and protection from sand flies to live in the wilderness like Lord of the Flies. I'd love to roam free with wild Buffalo and share my body with sand flies. That's fun! We could develop our own organized govenment and I bet who would nominate themselves President. I could see it now, Amish, Master Organizer, standing at the top of the hill wearing his chicken hat from Oktoberfest, holding onto a walking stick. He will nominate everyone with a different responsibility to keep the community running smoothly.

Apparently I'm not eligible to obtain a fishing license as Master said I'll end up in federal prison if I bring a fishing rod along. I'd be better off blowing up mail boxes! Can we just say 14 miles of hiking in two days with smelly boys? Freeze dried meals? MMMMmmmm delicious.

I'm actually really excited to spend time outdoors with a great group of people this weekend. Just wanted to throw it out there. :-)

alrighty jeseeca, sleep well and don't worry too much, good things happen to good people :-)

So I'm starting to note things people say to me each day that make me feel good. From this point forward I'm going to title my blogs as a dedication to the conversations that have put a smile on my face.

Lately my life has been almost identically mirroring people I care about. And not even people I normally see on a regular basis but friends I've only recently reconnected with. The summer ended with a domino effect of contagious experiences, both positive and negative. There was illness, heartache, regret, and loss. But more importantly opportunity, chances to grow and explore, the beginning of new friendships and the rekindling of old.

How our lives intertwine and change beyond our control, in the hands of some greater force has been of great interest to me. I've read The Secret. We are what we attract into our lives and we attract things through what we think. Is the law of attraction contagious? I hope so as I'd love to transmit positivity rather than this nasty cough. It explains how I jumped out of a slump, landed on my feet and fell into a career opportunity and an incredible group of friends, old and new. I still feel a situational sadness at times but it's ok. Our parallel lives have been full of drastic and impulsive decisions. The energy we've put into these decisions and/or taken out can be used towards improving our own lives and those around us. It has already begun. I have been an observer and an element of this group who has gone from one emotional extreme to the other. Everyone will fall into the right path. Good things happen to good people. :-)

We are expandable creatures

It was a great evening. That is a total "Jess" night with pure indulgence drinking wine, eating bread, listening to live music with good company. Of course there was random unnecessary conversaton with a complete stranger who offered nothing to the table but an extra fan club only enabling the sarcastic (and protective) but good natured responses. Just upon arriving home I had a run in with a neighbor who lives beneath me. I heard through her roommate she moved in a few months ago, is named Jessica and works in the field of Psychology. I had almost reached out to her for career advice a while back after casually throwing out my interest in Psychology to her roommate who was fixing my chronically running toilet at the time.

Tonight, I had the greatest end to an already enjoyable evening. I met Jessica as we were entering the building together. She already knew who I was and introduced herself with the warmest and most sincere welcome. I immediately felt at ease with her. You sometimes meet people at those moments in life where you are longing for reassurance, only to find others hold the same belief system, validating your ambitions even further. She is in the helping profession but does not define herself as purely a Psychologist. She has training in Nutrition, Personal Training, Massage, Master's in Clinical Psychology, Meditation, and uses her vast skills to work with troubled female teenagers. "We are expandable creatures," she said. And I will take her words with me and cherish them.

rolled the shores of cali just to find a peace of mind

Two years, two months, six days. It felt like only yesterday, July 23rd, 2006 when a New York friend told me he predicted I stay in LA for only six months. And then I proved him wrong.
I have discovered a formula for the length in which people stay in this city. Los Angeles has an equation all to itself. Career + Need to Get Away = Los Angeles + Time Spent.

My career, while it's taken some detours and beatings but for the better of course, is off to a new start. Therefore my career mode is strong. I'd like to define the Need to Get Away from the desire to explore the new and unknown, to running away from problems, to pursuing that dream career, or perhaps being forced to leave. I feel like I have only just begun exploring myself and the people around me. While running away from problems seems like an easy way out, it is extremely satisfying to attack those problems and make the necessary changes in order to have a clearer view and appreciation. Los Angeles has me for some time now. I'm still here.

Tuesday September 30, 2008

Three weeks ago, I finally dug out my dancing shoes from the dust bunny covered corner of my dark closet. The urge to dance was stronger than ever and there was no fighting it. The Emily's and I now share this one night a week together; Where all that matters is that we find our high heels (and drag each other to drive to Long Beach).

I was introduced to a Salsa class one year ago thanks to an ex-boyfriend. Dancing has always been a part of me and I gave it up for quite some time. Never did I imagine picking up Salsa dance as I was always trained in ballet, oh the ever disciplined dancer I once was! Now we're talking about having fun. Salsa is the best release besides playing music. It doesn't matter who you are or what you do, everyone is there to dance and there are no lack of partners. People from all ages, ethinicities, and social backgrounds participate in these classes. It's a chance for everyone to unite in an art form that leaves you with the most natural high. The music's energy makes you shake your hips, smile, and find the sexy, happy soul we often let slip away.